So I needed to go to the grocery store, but I didn’t have a car. It’s only about a mile away so I decided I would put on my backpack and ride a bike. The bike ride was very pleasant and the whole time I felt so green with my backpack and pedaling. At the grocery store I tried to resist buying too much for the backpack, but did get what I needed – some single rolls of toilet paper, milk, some monthly girl items, eggs, bagels, cream cheese… hmm my backpack filled up pretty quickly, but I did manage to cram it all in with the bagels sticking out of the top. After I left the store I realized I wanted a drink so I stopped at the little convenience store across the street. I pulled up on my bike feeling like all that, I’m so green, look at me pedaling up with my backpack full of food. I stepped into the store and beamed with pride as a handsome looking guy buying something at the counter glanced over at me. Then, a roll of toilet paper fell out of my backpack. Oh that’s embarrassing I thought and bent to retrieve it when another roll fell out. “Oh no! That’s embarrassing” I said as the nice looking guy turned to help me when suddenly, as I leaned to retrieve the second roll, the entire backpack seemed to explode and all my food and personal items scatter across the floor in front of me including my large box of tampons and the large package of kotex. I was speechless with humiliation. The guy about to help me suddenly stood up and turned back toward the counter to awkwardly complete his purchase. As he hurried away, I picked up my things, jammed them back into my backpack, sheepishly bought my drink, and slithered away.

House is a wreck, I don't have the energy or gumption to tidy it up. Stuff everywhere, too much stuff. Stop the madness. They're delivering a washer and dryer on Friday. I spent too much so there's a lot of guilt there. Can't I buy a washer and dryer and not feel so guilty? What is up with that anyway. Lifetime. I find comfort in that channel, how sad. Maybe it's the "normal" lives... I think women like that show because it's life problems that get resolved. I'm not sure why women would like that more than men, don't both genders need to resolve problems? Life problems? Eh.

Toasting some rice cakes. I like them that way, toasted with spray butter. It's the illusion of not eating much. Maybe it's the reality of not eating much. Like my brother says, reality is a convention. It really is.

I was just thinking the other day how almost everything I know, I learned from other people. Often I think of these things as I am doing something that reminds me of the someone that taught me how to do it. So, I decided to thank those that I can remember. They're in no particular order and I'll just keep adding to it as I remember things.

Thank you...

1. Thank you to Ma and Daddy for giving me Life. I also love most things to do with Life including the game Life, Life preservers, Lifesavers candy and especially Life cereal.
2. Suzy for teaching me not to wear plaid with stripes or green knee socks with a navy blue dress.
3. Mamita for teaching me how to make gnocchi.
4. Mamita for teaching me "There's a place for everything, put everything in it's place"
5. Mamita for teaching me to hang my clothes at night so they air out.
6. Mamita for teaching me if I make the bed "it will be nice and fresh and night for you to lay in"
7. Thank you for that operator I called when I was making a cake and she told me I could use oil instead of butter.
8. Thank you to Matt for turning me on to Jimi Hendrix and Pink Floyd.
9. Thank you to Mrs. Ladd, my third grade teacher at Dixfield Elementary for teaching me how to paint birch trees, even after I was being such rotten student, and then telling me how nice mine were.
10. Thank you to Buddy the bus driving for returning me to Kindergarten after I fell alseep on the bus and woke up with the bus parked in his yard.
11. Thank you to Cookie and Danny for playing all those games of Yatzee with us and helping us with Sand City.
12. Thank you to Lauri for teaching me how to take dead leaves off the plants and remove weak growth when we were in highschool.
13. Thank you to Amy for teaching me it is ok to wear a pair of socks two days in a row (or more than once).
14. Thank you to Peter Miller for teaching me how to do a loon call.
15. Thank you to Ma for teaching me to be open to different ways of being spiritual.
16. Thank you to Suzy for teaching me how to meditate and for showing me those weird pictures of Swami Satchidananda cleaning his passages with rags.
17. Thank you to Peter for lending me his jeans when I was in 7th grade allowing me to be the cool new kid.
18. Thank you Eddie Welch for rescuing Cathy and I from the carbon monoxide fumes put out by the hibachi in the VW microbus as we sat in there with the windows closed to get warm.
19. Thank you to Mirium Douglas for giving us cookies when we went to visit him.
20. Thank you Michael for teaching me how to play a blues scale and a 1,4,5 progression.
21. Thank you Suzy for tell me how to properly play the recorder.
22. Thank you Joan for helping with Eli's tuition and so many other things, for some people there aren't enough thanks.