So I needed to go to the grocery store, but I didn’t have a car. It’s only about a mile away so I decided I would put on my backpack and ride a bike. The bike ride was very pleasant and the whole time I felt so green with my backpack and pedaling. At the grocery store I tried to resist buying too much for the backpack, but did get what I needed – some single rolls of toilet paper, milk, some monthly girl items, eggs, bagels, cream cheese… hmm my backpack filled up pretty quickly, but I did manage to cram it all in with the bagels sticking out of the top. After I left the store I realized I wanted a drink so I stopped at the little convenience store across the street. I pulled up on my bike feeling like all that, I’m so green, look at me pedaling up with my backpack full of food. I stepped into the store and beamed with pride as a handsome looking guy buying something at the counter glanced over at me. Then, a roll of toilet paper fell out of my backpack. Oh that’s embarrassing I thought and bent to retrieve it when another roll fell out. “Oh no! That’s embarrassing” I said as the nice looking guy turned to help me when suddenly, as I leaned to retrieve the second roll, the entire backpack seemed to explode and all my food and personal items scatter across the floor in front of me including my large box of tampons and the large package of kotex. I was speechless with humiliation. The guy about to help me suddenly stood up and turned back toward the counter to awkwardly complete his purchase. As he hurried away, I picked up my things, jammed them back into my backpack, sheepishly bought my drink, and slithered away.

House is a wreck, I don't have the energy or gumption to tidy it up. Stuff everywhere, too much stuff. Stop the madness. They're delivering a washer and dryer on Friday. I spent too much so there's a lot of guilt there. Can't I buy a washer and dryer and not feel so guilty? What is up with that anyway. Lifetime. I find comfort in that channel, how sad. Maybe it's the "normal" lives... I think women like that show because it's life problems that get resolved. I'm not sure why women would like that more than men, don't both genders need to resolve problems? Life problems? Eh.

Toasting some rice cakes. I like them that way, toasted with spray butter. It's the illusion of not eating much. Maybe it's the reality of not eating much. Like my brother says, reality is a convention. It really is.